Thank you, Ed, for reading, for sharing your story, and for leaving a thoughtful comment. His response to my email sounds a lot like your letter to your ex. Only he perhaps was filled with more regret because he had taken me for granted. He was also sorry for a bunch of other things I will not get into, but at the core of both of our interactions was how we were grateful for the part we’d played in each other’s lives.

I agree with your last paragraph. There is a risk in not knowing how one would receive our words. Everyone is different and each relationship is unique. What worked for me may not work for everyone else, but that’s up to the individual to deduce. Regardless, I still think you did the right thing. You had learned valuable lessons in your time apart, and at the time, felt the need to reach out. That is both mature and courageous, especially for you as the “dumpee.” It was unfortunate your ex was hostile and dismissive. It sounded like she lacked compassion, but that is on her. I wouldn’t let her reaction take away from the good of your actions, no matter how belated. I think you’re a good man.

There is always a risk in being vulnerable, but most hurt we feel is because our ego wants to protect us. I’d rather risk being momentarily hurt than live with the regret of not acting when I felt compelled to do so.

I also believe that if one has truly loved a person, love never fully dissipates after the relationship has ended. It merely takes on a different form.