I’m just so glad everything worked out for the better and you weren’t two adults with a child who went on to go through a bitter divorce, or stay together just for the sake of your daughter.

This post reminds me of a quote by Stephen Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and he says “love the feeling, can be captured.” In the chapter he gives an example much like your own, when a couple has fallen out of love. The simple solution is just to do the work to love each other.

“My wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t love me. What can I do?”

“The feeling isn’t there anymore?” I asked.

“That’s right,” he reaffirmed. “And we have three children we’re really concerned about. What do you suggest?”

“Love her,” I replied.

“I told you, the feeling just isn’t there anymore.”

“Love her.”

“You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there.”

“Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.”

“But how do you love when you don’t love?”

“My friend , love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”